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9 Ways to Complain Effectively and Get Your Way

Here's our advice on how to successfully complain:
1. Respect your audience.
Don't force your troubles on an unwilling target. A strained smile, continuous "uh-huhs" and lack of eye contact are all signs that your audience isn't interested.
Don't force your troubles on an unwilling target. A strained smile, continuous "uh-huhs" and lack of eye contact are all signs that your audience isn't interested.
2. Say it calmly.
Keep your emotions in check when you complain, and you'll be able to communicate more effectively.

3. Think of solutions.
The worst kind of complainer is one who points out problems, but never offers solutions. If the engine isn't running right, get under the hood and fix it.
The worst kind of complainer is one who points out problems, but never offers solutions. If the engine isn't running right, get under the hood and fix it.
4. Keep your sense of humor.
Approaching your problems with a sense of humor and a light-hearted tone will make your complaints more palatable to you and your audience.
Approaching your problems with a sense of humor and a light-hearted tone will make your complaints more palatable to you and your audience.
5. Lose the conspiracies.
When you complain that everyone is against you, you lose credibility. Stick to the issue and don't worry about what others are thinking.
When you complain that everyone is against you, you lose credibility. Stick to the issue and don't worry about what others are thinking.
6. Ask permission to complain.
"Do you mind if we talk about this?" Never launch into a tirade without an invitation.
"Do you mind if we talk about this?" Never launch into a tirade without an invitation.
7. Reciprocate the favor.
Don't dump on a friend and then flee the scene. You'll cultivate a trusty confidant if you ask your friend to share his or her concerns too.
Don't dump on a friend and then flee the scene. You'll cultivate a trusty confidant if you ask your friend to share his or her concerns too.
8. Don't practice one-upmanship.
"If you think that's bad, listen to this..." There is enough misery to go around. You don't have to be worse off than everyone else.
"If you think that's bad, listen to this..." There is enough misery to go around. You don't have to be worse off than everyone else.
9. Give the short version.
How many tales of woe hold your attention? Exactly. Keep it short and you'll keep your audience's attention and friendship.
How many tales of woe hold your attention? Exactly. Keep it short and you'll keep your audience's attention and friendship.