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Parent's View on Kids and Sex

Written by Jane Brooks

Advice on how to successfully cope knowing your child is having sex. She/he brings home awhen your children start dating lover? What do you do? 

From the time he was 2 years old and dragged me outside to our garden to "see the tomatoes cuddling," I knew my firstborn would make some girl happy someday. Throughout his adolescence, I watched and waited but he remained glued to his computer with a circle of like-minded friends. Girls just didn't seem central to their lives.
 
Respect Your Child's Relationship
Anticipating a visit from your child's partner? Discuss sleeping arrangements, dietary preparations or other considerations ahead of time.
Note the positive attributes of your child's partner. Pointing out the negatives will only alienate your child.
Plan an activity together so you and the "friend" can get to know each other.
Tell favorite stories of your child's youth but be careful not to reveal personal information or embarrass your child. Let your child decide what he or she wants to share.
Then, a month ago, at his college graduation, he told me that he "met someone."
 
Last week, his girlfriend came to visit. And predictably, I liked her. Really liked her. What's more, I liked the way she and Dan got along. They laughed and talked nonstop, which amazed me. After all, this is my not-so-verbal, computer-geek son.
 
In fact, for a guy who has dated very little, he seems to have taken to this relationship as naturally as the proverbial duck in the water. What especially struck me was that he seemed himself with her. No pretense. No overly solicitous stuff, either. In fact, she could have been one of his guy friends. Except that he doesn't cuddle with them.
 
Outside the family, Dan isn't particularly affectionate or effusive. So it warmed my heart to watch his arms wrap around her while he showed her a favorite poster in our hallway. And I noticed that he didn't flinch a bit when she mussed his hair or stroked his beard.
 
My mother once told me that when she was dating my father, their song was "Just Friends, Lovers No More" because of their fickle relationship. Yet she was really perturbed by my on-again, off-again relationship with my high school boyfriend. I told her that indecision was in my genes.
 
Somehow, I don't see that kind of waffling in the stars for Dan. He was not one of those babies who tottered for months before walking. Not this boy. One night, just past a year old, he got up off his knees and walked across the room. Perfectly.
 
Perhaps this won't turn out to be the love of his life, but it appears that he's off to a good start in the relationship department. He may be a bit of a late bloomer, but when he's ready, he sure gets it right. That's my kid.

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